Monday, August 7, 2017

GoT S7E04: "The Spoils of War"

What do we now know?
Bronn wants a castle (so he can play Pretty Pretty Princess.)
Meera IS returning to her family, but it wasn't a pleasant parting. Bran, could you fucking spare the "thank you" to this girl who's dragged your crippled ass Bob knows how many miles and risked her life for you?? Yeah, look, we get that you're actually an all-seeing raven now, so you've probably got a lot on your weird mind...but she's right. You fucked Hodor up, and then he, Jojen, and Summer died for your sake. We're getting a bit sick of your whole "no one can understand me anymore, I'm so beyond you all" attitude. Mmkay? 


...LONG-awaited Stark reunion!! ALL of the high-fives to Arya & Dany this episode, seriously. Arya comes home and impresses the hell outta Brienne, who must know what she means by "no one." Girl's got hella style! Pod still has some work to do. xD And fuck you, Sansa, if you have any kinda problem with what Arya's done. Combat skills, the ability to take out your enemies, will only be major assets. Sorry she's not *quite* the perfect, totally pure and innocent little sis for whom you might've hoped.
Bran gives Arya the dagger, which seems a wise choice. Sansa's right about one thing--Littlefinger ain't generous. He's always smirking in the shadows, like he's got some nefarious plot cooking. But Bran totally spooked him with the "Chaos is a ladder." >;-) THAT wasn't "something you've seen before," eh, mate?? Between Bran and Arya, he may be in trouble real soon. *grin*


Missandei misses Grey Worm; Dany wants the skinny on what went down between them, hahaha. XD Gossip girl time! Jon shows her the cave with the dragonglass and the record of the past Whitewalker battle. She is persuaded to help him, but still wants him to bend the knee first. BUT THEN! Sadfaced-Tyrion and Varys bear shitty news. Dany accuses him of going easy on his family, and it does seem true that, at least, he'd rather not hurt Jaime. Dany then asks--WWJSD?? (To which the answer remains, not burn cities to the ground and kill thousands of innocents.) So, what's a poor girl to do...? `\`


Theon pull yer boat ashore! We all knew he'd try to rescue Yara.
They're starting with the shipper fuel, uggggghhh. With the arm-touching to guide her in the cave, and ol' chatterbox Davos accusing Jon of looking at her bewbs. Well, tbh I never could blame either of them for feeling attracted! ;) However, hopefully they'll learn of their relationship soon and that'll shut it right down. She's different enough from her ancestors that I doubt she'd dig the idea of marrying her nephew, either. And 'sides, "King Jon" has the Katniss attitude of "there's no time for romantic bullshit anyway."
Missandei makes it clear that she and everyone here from Essos serve Dany by choice. Davos still quite likes her and wants to consider switching sides, lol. And once again, Jon is given reason to consider bending the knee to Dany.  


On to the whole caravan scene that went by so quickly, it made the episode feel short (also because there wasn't so much bouncing about from one short scene to another.) Bronn, you bastard. x-p I like Dickon, fresh out of Fancy-Lad School. (Hey Dickon, where's Dickoff?) So the Tarlys and even Jaime regret having "had" to go against Olenna. ={ And now, Jaime refuses to abandon his army as the Dothraki and Drogon race toward them, bellowing their war cries (Dad's like, "They're gonna be out of breath by the time they get there." xD) Oh, yeah--Dany's 'boutta try and even these odds back out. The Dothraki start kickin' mad ass, Tyrion's watching...keeping an eye on his one-handed brother, man. ;; His fucking idiot brother. Aiight, so was it Bronn or Dickon or some random dude who pushed him into the water? It had to be one of the named guys. And we can assume he won't drown...right? Someone will pull him up. But ugh, the actual worst part of this episode is the dead horses, and watching Dany trying to pull the spear from her 'son''s side. Damn you, Bronn. At least now they're aware of the 'Scorpion' crossbows and can keep an eye out for them, knowing not to be an easy, non-zig-zagging target like Rickon again. Dodge, bob and weave, be a moving target! Do a barrel roll! xD
Fuckin' Cersei's bank deal, and army, seem to have just gone up in smoke? Muuuuahahaha, yaaaayyy. *long yeah boi* 


Next week looks amazeballs--and also full of terrors. Holy shitemother. (But what do Varys and Tyrion want to get Dany, presumably, to listen to? Don't let one successful dragon attack go to your head, girl...!!)
Y'know, a water and/or an ice dragon would be super-helpful to have in addition to the standard firebreathing ones...8/


So almost everyone is accounted for now. Everybody's who still around and has been a major player since the early seasons seems to be here for a reason, with some role to play in the coming war. Jorah is on his way back to Dany, and he should be a valuable asset. Sam (and Gilly and their son) will be, at least, conveying important information--but will he eventually leave the Citadel and wind up back in the North or something? The Hound and his current "pack" will hopefully reappear next week. We should soon see Tormund & the Wildlings (yes, it's a band) shortly as well, since I think the preview told us that Bran sees the Walkers heading toward Eastwatch. Melisandre, Ghost, and Nymeria with her pack may not show up again until the final season, but in all likelihood they'll come through in some big saving-the-day kinda ways. Tbh, we should've seen Ghost more often at Winterfell, but an episode like this shows where the majority of the CGI budget has to go...so I understand that the wolves are too expensive to create and animate if their presence onscreen isn't significant enough to the plot development. 


People we may not see again: Jaqen? Daario? Hot Pie (we better friggin' see HP again, at the very least...if we ain't crownin' him king...;p) Guess we're to have assumed that Gendry reached his destination long ago and that was that (either this, or he's still rowing about to this very day. Which is what they say.) Ellaria & Tyene...unless Ellaria somehow escapes the dungeon, I don't really think we'll cut back to them. It'd be good if the rest of Dorne still wanted to fight for Dany, but...I guess we're just accepting that by losing their leader, we've lost the whole army? =\ Idk, now they should want to go at Cersei with a vengeance. ;p But then, just about everybody should, so. Yuh. B-|

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